No Envy, Genuine Growth Is Possble

Genuine growth is only possible if we are open and listening. A closed mind is a recipe for stagnation and mediocrity. People are always threatened by change, especially if it requires them to stretch beyond feelings of security and assumptions about happiness. An open mind and an open heart are indispensable to achieving real maturity, and, even more important, becoming an agent in the happiness of others. Let us strive to keep our minds and hearts open.

 - Brother Wayne Teasdale, The Mystic Hours .

These are powerful and meaningful words that we all can live by.

We often try not to envy others. We see someone driving a very expensive car. We may wish we had the same car perhaps in a different color. Women often envy other women who are thinner than she is. We wish we had the money to buy the expensive clothes she wears in her small size. Of course, if we really wanted to we could lose weight and buy lots of clothes, not necessarily in the expense column.

There are many stylish clothes around and online from catalogues that look as pretty as the expensive outfits. Others envy another person’s education and all the benefits they reap from their degrees and positions in the work world. They too could go back to school to get an education and though it would take many years, it is there for them to accomplish it. Age no longer matters in getting a degree. We are never too old to learn.

When I went back to get a college degree at almost age thirty-four, I was perceived the old lady in the class because I was almost middle aged in the young teens in the classes’ minds. Of course, I was still a young woman though almost double their age. It was a new thing to do, learning at that age, but it caught fire and soon many were doing it too.

Dr. John Levay, my first professor on that February day in 1968 taught us Psychology 101 and in it he taught us the difference between the words jealousy and envy. He said jealousy was pure covetousness and resentment and envies almost the same thing, but one could raise themselves up and accomplish almost the same things as the other persons with a good amount of effort and time. So the way he explained it, made it to be envious was nicer than being plain old jealous.

When I went often to watch dance competitions long before I was a competitor; there was a married lady named Katherine and she danced in a heat as the dances are called. She did not win one of the three awards for each heat. She came off the floor and she anticipated that she had not done well. She started to cry as if she was a five year old not getting her way. It was poor sportsmanship and not pleasant to see. She was so jealous of the winners; she had envy with a capital E. She needed to try and perfect her own style and I am sure eventually she would win.

Several years later, I competed in a competition event and I did not win any trophies. I did not cry. The following year I won five first places and I was elated. The time had come when I deserved to win and the rest is training and trying.

We cannot always win, but just being a competitor in an event makes you a winner because you tried and this is what is most important in the scheme of things.

 Then and only then will genuine growth be possible and you now deserve to be a winner and this applies to everything in life.