Fabio and Fitness

Two years ago, my husband got all gung-ho when a new gym opened up here in Elkridge—Fitness 19. Super excited at the prospect of a convenient workout, he paid a registration fee and signed on for $15 a month for the life of his membership.

Great deal, right?

But a deal is only great if you're going to use it, and in the last two years he has used it three times, to my count (although he'll adamantly argue that it's been far more than that). Regardless, I finally got him to admit that it was time to cancel the membership and put the $15 toward something that would be used more regularly (i.e., a bottle of wine). He agreed. Granted, I left out the wine part when I spoke to him.

So I called Fitness 19 and a very fit sounding Fabio answered the phone. (Yes, I have changed the name to protect the privacy of the employee.) I explained to Fabio that I was going to cancel the membership, and, showing his great customer service and salesmanship, Fabio suggested that maybe I wanted to take over the membership for JMahl? No additional cost—just keep paying the $15 per month.

I laughed and proceeded to explain to a doing-a-good-job-of-pretending-he-was-interested Fabio that I had two young children at home with me each day and would never make it to the gym. Ah, Salesman Fabio then eagerly informed me that for just $2 a day (wait, did you say two kids? then $3 a day), they had childcare available to watch my children for as long as I chose to work out.

For $15 a month, I could have unlimited childcare. I did some quick math in my head, realizing that would require at a minimum a once- a-week trip to the gym, and asked him instead if I could just get a job and drop my kids off each morning. He didn't laugh. Or respond actually.

So I asked him to tell me about the benefits of membership, which he happily did—he obviously knows when to turn on and off his ears—including that I'd get one personal free training session. Yeah! I asked him if the personal trainers were guaranteed to be attractive. Again, he didn't respond, but I know he was listening. I could hear him thinking about how best to answer, and not wanting to put him on the spot in case the call was being recorded for quality purposes and could later be used in a sexual harassment suit, I skipped on ahead to informing him that I only was interested in losing a few inches around my waist and strengthening my neck, shoulder, and back muscles to help with the pain and aggravation of having to carry two very large milk bottles with me wherever I went—could a trainer help with that?

Quick-thinking and slightly embarrassed-but-forced-to-listen Fabio had a response to this: "I think one of our female trainers may be better suited to help you in that regard." Props to you, Fabio, but I advised him that it was not nearly as titillating to work out with a female trainer as with a male trainer.  

(For my mom, my husband and those of you who may be offended, that pun is not intended. For those of you women who understand the desire to have an attractive younger man demonstrating strategic workout positions to you even if you never have any intention of being disloyal to your husband, that pun was entirely intended.)  

He, again, did not respond. Fabio has been very well-trained, I do believe; but I'm sure that he was very interested in my potential membership (read: milk jugs), because it was at this point that he suggested I just come in sometime before 7 when his shift ended, and he would get me all set up. Granted, he may have just been desperate to get me off the phone. Perception is key here. So, saying goodbye and promising to be in shortly, I hung up, feeling successful in my endeavor and motivated to get on over there and get me a membership. Good work, Fabio.  

This was three months ago, and because I hate to waste money, I have made relatively good use of this membership. In fact, my husband declined to cancel his membership once I decided to sign up (and has since made it to the gym one more time), and I got an "additional family member" discount of only $12/month. Sure, they occasionally call me away from my workout because my child is screaming...and sure, once or twice I've had to watch my own kids for a few minutes while they waited for someone to show and watch them for me; but all in all, it's been a great experience.

If you want a gym with a spa and a coffee shop, go ahead and find a different gym. But if you just want to get a sweat on and admire your fellow gym-goers in the mirrors, this is the place for you. Besides, I can guarantee if my gym had a spa and a coffee shop AND $15-a-month free childcare, I would not be working out. Oh, I may be there for eight hours a day, but the only thing that would get done would be my nails.  

So, here's a shout out to Fitness 19; and if you live in the Elkridge area and are looking to join a good affordable gym, give them a call.